


Our Hearts Beat As One

by sapphicalexandra



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drabble Collection, Established Relationship, Fluff, Forbidden Love, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, M/M, Parabatai Feels, Ratings and Genres Vary, See chapter summaries, Smut, Tumblr Prompt, generally though:
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-01
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-01-07 16:53:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 43
Words: 8,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12236898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphicalexandra/pseuds/sapphicalexandra
Summary: A series of Jalec-centric drabbles.





	1. Tell me a secret

**Author's Note:**

> I had never written with a word count or with a prompt not coming from my own head, so this was a fun challenge. I have Jalec tunnel vision at the moment, but who knows if in the future i could write for more pairings. In the meantime, if you want, you can still [request](http://sapphicalexandra.tumblr.com/post/165650034156/send-me-a-pairing-and-a-number-and-ill-write-you) a drabble.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff, Established Relationship

Laying on the Institute’s roof, they're enjoying a rare moment of respite just the two of them. Hands interlaced, they watch the stars twinkle above their heads.

Jace breaks the silence first, a request whispered like a prayer. “Tell me a secret.”

Alec mulls it over. “I like dancing.”

Jace turns his head towards him, disbelief painting itself on his face.

“ _Yes_ , me," Alec retorts. "The one with the stick up his ass.”

“Why didn’t you say so sooner?! C’mon.”

After helping Alec rise from the floor, Jace lays his chin on Alec’s shoulder as they sway on the spot.   


	2. I wish I could hate you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst

“I wish I could hate you.”

The words came out of Alec as sharp as a sword, cutting their opponent in half. If that was Jace or Alec himself, it was hard to tell.

Because the impossibility to hate Jace was a twisted knife in Alec’s heart, a constant reminder that he’ll never be _free_ of a feeling that only brought him pain. But his _wish_ to hate him was a stab wound in Jace’s back; you should _never_ want to hate your parabatai.

Alec had brought a curse on both of them.

“I wish I could not love you.”


	3. Come over here and make me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff, Mild sexual content

“Come over here and make me.”

“Nope, I’m not falling for it.”

“Falling for what?” Jace asked, the picture of innocence.

“We both know that if I ‘come over there’ we’ll end up having sex on that damn couch.  _No_ , you must finish your report.”

“Well, then. If that’s what you prefer.”

But Jace didn’t start writing. He simply resumed twirling his pen.

Alec just  _had_  to wipe that smirk from his face.

Rising from his desk, he strode to the couch with a  _purpose_. He snatched Jace’s pen from his hands…then dived, crushing Jace’s lips with his own.


	4. So, I found this waterfall…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff, Mild sexual content

“So, I found this waterfall…”

They were supposed to be on a  _mission_.

“Jace, you’re not seriously planning to…”

He was, and Alec got taken by the hand and dragged kicking and screaming away from his duties. Or, that was how he’d recount it, if asked.

He would never admit he went far too willingly to the most amazing corner of natural beauty. Or that he was the one to hastily remove all of Jace’s clothes as he kissed every inch of skin he freed.

Diving into the water, they found the perfect cave behind the fall for their lovemaking.  


	5. I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst

“I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.”

Admitting that felt _not_ like a weight had been lifted off Jace’s shoulder, but rather as if his head had just been plunged under water. And he waited, gasping, for something or someone to make him or break him.

Alec stared at him for a long moment. Then, he raised a hand, very slowly, to adjust a stray lock of hair on Jace’s forehead. He framed Jace’s jaw with his fingers. “Me, too.”

Jace could breathe again. He let out a sound of relief, before taking Alec’s hand, kissing it.


	6. Teach me how to play?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff, Hints of child abuse

“Teach me how to play?”

Jace felt weird asking for such silly things.

He was always aware that him and the Lightwood siblings had been raised very differently; that was how he knew that Shadowhunters – of any age – shouldn’t be allowed to spend their time playing games, instead of practicing their demon-killing skills.

Still, he couldn’t help but want to  _fit_  in this new world. The one Alec Lightwood, his first real friend, lived in.

Alec smiled at him, and Jace was pleased to be the cause for it. ‘Sure! First you go hide, while another person counts to one-hundred…’


	7. Just once

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff

They got out of the club, and the last thing Jace would’ve expected was for Alec to drag him into a back alley, and kiss him senselessly.

After, Alec had a sheepish look on his face. “I know, I know, I make the rules and I break them.”

“Better you than me, or I’d never hear the end of it.” Jace grinned.

“I _said_ I was sorry.”

“You didn’t, actually.”

Alec stuck his tongue out, and Jace laughed freely.

“So, care to do that again?” Jace asked, anticipation layered under his casual tone. 

Alec bit his lip. “Fine. Just once.”


	8. Please, don't do this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst

“Please, don’t do this. Don’t think that.”

Those words seemed to drain everything that was fueling Jace, and he collapsed on the bed. “ _Valentine_  is my father. He raised me, he shaped me to his own image, how can you tell me not to think that I’m just like him?!”

Alec crouched down in front of him, determination dripping from his voice. “You’re  _nothing_  like him. Look at everything Valentine’s done, he threw his own  _parabatai_  to the wolves! Would you ever do that…to  _me_?”

Jace raised his eyes in shock. “Never!”

Alec smiled. “Then you’re not like him.”


	9. I'm pregrant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff, guest star Lydia Branwell

“I’m pregnant.”

Lydia’s announcement was met with a whooping sound, a jump, and a fist in the air by Jace, and two raised arms by Alec, inching closer to Lydia’s stomach without actually touching it.

“Are – are you sure?” he asked, still unable to quite  _let_  himself believe it.

Lydia smiled brighter than Alec had ever seen. “ _Yes_.”

Jace came down from his high, and he caught them both in a crushing hug.

He then looked up at him. “You ready?”

Alec noticed the glint in Jace’s eyes as his own face broke out into an earsplitting smile. “Bring it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lydia is a surrogate obviously ;)


	10. Have I entered an alternate universe or did you really just crack a smile for me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff, AU

“Have I entered an alternate universe or did you really just crack a smile for me?”

Only his unquenchable need to have his best friend back spurred Jace to crack that joke. He was still nervous to overstep a boundary, worried that one wrong sentence could drive Alec away from his life all over again. Yet, Alec  _had_  smiled, and the joke only made his lips spread out wider.

“What’s so funny?” Jace had to ask.

Alec reached forward with a finger. He took something white from Jace’s lips. “You have foam on your mouth.”

Jace tried not to blush.


	11. The paint's supposed to go where?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff, AU

“Stop it! Stop what you’re doing, the paint’s supposed to only go on the left!”

“The paint’s supposed to go _where_?”

“On the left! I’m trying to do something _precise_ here, you can’t go around mucking it all up as you please!”

“Well then, Mr. Perfect, now I really want to see what’ll come out of this _preciseness_ of yours. I’ll be over there doing something actually _pretty_.”

“You’re an asshole.”

“And you’re a prick.”

“I love you.”

“Shut up, I _won’t_ do what you say.”

“Yes, you will.”

“No, I won’t.”

…

“Know that I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can you guess who's who? ;)


	12. Wait a minute. Are you jealous?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff, double drabble

“How did the hunt go? Did Clary make any of her usual messes?” Alec put in casually, as Jace was handing him the mission’s report.

“It went fine, and she’s actually improving a lot. You wouldn’t believe the moves she comes up with!”

“Oh, I can easily picture it.”

Jace arched an eyebrow, squaring him up and down. “Wait a minute. Are you _jealous_? That I go on hunts with her and not you?”

Alec huffed, ignoring his heart jumping in his chest at the accusation. “ _What_? Of course not, why would I care? It’s not like she’s your parabatai, _I_ am.”

Jace smiled, then he seemed to think of something, and he started circling the desk to get to Alec’s side. Alec watched him approach with silent trepidation.

When Jace finally reached him, he turned around the chair Alec was seated at, so that Alec could face him. Alec shivered when Jace’s breath hit his lips, when he bent his head down.

“Exactly, it’s not like I’ve chosen to tie my soul to _her_ , right? Or as if I sleep in _her_ bed every night,” Jace whispered.  

Alec swallowed. “I guess not.”

Jace sealed the deal with a kiss.


	13. You did all of this for me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff, double drabble

"You did all of this for me?"

The rooftop was illuminated by a myriad of candles, circling a masterfully set table for two.

"Yeah," Jace answered, and Alec could hear the smile in his voice.

 _Hear_ , because he was too busy looking at the incredible sight in front of him, fighting to keep the emotions it ignited in him at bay.

But what was the point in that, he told himself a moment later. He _shared_ his every emotion with Jace; kind of impossible to pretend he wasn’t as affected by the gesture as he was.  

Throwing out all composure, Alec turned towards Jace, caught him by the hips, and spun him around. Jace laughed as he held onto Alec's neck for dear life.

When Alec put him down, it was Jace who initiated the kiss.

"I love you. Of _course_ I want to do every damn cheesy thing for you. Especially now that we're officially _legal_."

Alec could only kiss him again, and longer, at that. Never in a million years would he have thought he'd get to _be_ with Jace, let alone have a candlelit dinner with him on the Institute's roof, and it not being a secret.


	14. A kiss we had to wait for

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For @shirasade <3 :) hope you like it!

_I declare you lawfully wedded. You may…kiss._

The voice of the Silent Brother echoed in the minds of the people present, and Jace and Alec, who hadn’t stopped looking at each other ever since they’d finished drawing the wedded-union runes, smiled as one. Finally, they could kiss, and seal something that had been in the making ever since an arrow had flown in-between them.

When they were holding each other in the most intimate embrace, some people couldn’t help but shed a few tears.

Because who could’ve thought they’d get here? The _first_ parabatai to ever get married legally.   


	15. So...you want me to change?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff, AU, double drabble

"So…you want me to change."

“ _Yes_! You think I’ll let you go out with _that_ jacket?!”

“It’s a classic!”

“It’s boring, old, and ugly as hell! Go. Change.”

“I see. You get with an event planner and you don’t have the freedom to express yourself anymore.”

“You can call that _expression_ when someone isn’t seeing it!”

“That’s the whole point!”

“Fine! Then you must choose, either me or that… _thing_.”

“Are you _kidding_ me?”

“I don’t joke on these matters.”

They glared at each other for a long moment…before bursting into laughter.

Calming down, Jace went up to Alec to draw him in for a kiss.

“Okay then, can we go now?”  

Alec circled Jace’s waist with his arms, drawing him closer to himself.

“I have a better idea.”

He bent down to pull at Jace’s bottom lip with his teeth.

Jace was panting by the time Alec’s mouth reached his neck, and items of clothing had started dropping on the floor. They were inching towards the bed…when Alec grabbed Jace’s hand and started dragging him towards the door.

“Wha–”

“We can go now.”

Jace stepped on something on the way. Of course, it was his jacket.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For @MorganD, it's my new mission to turn your angsty prompts in fluff ;)


	16. You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternative event of s2 finale, 500 words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Halloween, so you shouldn't expect happy things...

“Jace, please, you need to wake up because I can’t do this without you,” Alec sobbed against Jace’s unmoving chest, the stench of blood burning up his nose.

Jace remained lifeless in Alec’s arms.

Valentine had come out of the dark without them noticing it, and had stabbed Jace in the heart before they could even blink. As Jace was being lowered to the ground, Alec had been frozen in place, until the most blood-curdling scream had come out of him.

Shoving Valentine out of the way to get to Jace, dropping on his knees, the pain sparking through the bond had been so much that Alec barely felt it anymore.

“I love you,” had been Jace’s last words, before his eyes, fixed on Alec as if he was his lifeline, had closed one last time.

“No, Jace, you can’t do this to me, please,” Alec kept chanting desperately, as his hands tried to stop the blood from flowing, as his mind stumbled for a solution.

Until everything around and inside him became silent. Dead. Empty.

Alec could only leave this world after Jace, then.

If only his body would _move_. He _knew_ the pain would stop if he just let Jace go and took his knife out of its holster…but no cell in him seemed to believe it. Thus, Alec clung to the cold shell that had been the other half of him.  

Alec didn’t know how much time passed, only that, eventually, he figured out _another_ reason why he couldn’t move. He couldn’t _leave_ the world until he got it rid of that _monster_ , undoubtedly still near, ready to call upon the angel Raziel…

And Alec was made of nothing but _anger_ as he held onto Jace a little tighter – if that was possible – about to finally get up…

When, suddenly, Alec was made of something else.  

A weird, warm kind of _tingle_ started spreading from somewhere inside him, and Alec gasped, raising his head, only to see himself _glow_. Jace was basked in the light, his face so peaceful that he could’ve been sleeping. Alec didn’t understand anything that was happening, nor did he care about anything else anymore, so he simply hoped that that meant his own end was near, and he could be reunited with Jace… Alec, then, brushed the damp hair away from Jace’s forehead, and indulged himself in a kiss.

Jace’s lips were still warm, and the longer Alec clung to them the more he could feel that _sensation_ flare up in his body. Burning to death hadn’t exactly been on his wish list, yet he couldn’t really complain.

_Soon, we’ll be together again, my parabatai._

For once in his life, Alec was rewarded…with a gasp of air against his mouth, as Jace’s body spasmed and Jace started coughing, easing himself back to life.

And Alec started laughing, hysterically, as Jace looked up at him halfway between confusion and wonder.

Alec kissed him again.

“Don’t do that to me ever again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...but i still made it happy ;) for @lunaswondrousworld on tumblr, thank you so much for this prompt! it totally inspired me so that i might've gotten carried away a lil bit, but i hope you like it anyway :)
> 
>  
> 
> a reminder that you can still send me any of the prompts in [here](http://sapphicalexandra.tumblr.com/tagged/prompts)


	17. Do you…well…I mean…I could give you a massage?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU, Fluff

“Do you…well…I mean…I could give you a massage?”

Alec turns towards him with eyes as big as saucers, and Jace doesn’t know who’s blushing more between the two of them.  _Unreasonably_ , right? Because what's wrong about one friend giving a massage to another after an intense football game that had left him sore? It’s just…a favor.

So Jace doesn’t back down from Alec’s shocked stare, until the latter relents, “O–okay. If that’s what you want.”

If Alec’s skin under his hands feels…nice, or if Alec’s barely-held-in moans sound…interesting, it doesn’t mean much, right?


	18. I don’t have the words right now so here’s a kiss / Sad kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst, double drabble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For @dahdarios on tumblr, you just made ME sad so i hope you're satisfied ;)

“We’re _alive_ , and we’re _together_. So no, Jace, don’t think that I regret anything, okay? Or that I could ever regret _you_.”

Jace doesn’t have the words to express what that means to him. He’s relieved, yes; Alec’s right, they might’ve lost everything they used to know, but not their _lives_ , or _each other_ , which is what matters the most.

Still, Jace can’t help but mourn the fact that their love had always been meant to bring them to _this_. For how genuine, for how strong, for how the best thing that had ever happened to them, it was also always going to be the _worst_ ; all because, one day, they had recited an oath to never be parted from each other.

Jace knows that Alec feels that, too. Yet, he has no doubts that they would both always make that same choice. And, in time, their situation will more and more closely resemble _happiness_.

For now, Jace allows himself to feel _sad_. Smiling at Alec to let him know that he understands and that he agrees, Jace interlocks their fingers together, before leaning in for a kiss.

As always, their lips meeting say much more than _they_ ever could.


	19. You are not needed here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blame @MorganD

"You are not needed here."

Jace laughs, the sound echoing in Alec’s mind as if coming from another world. Jace, however, doesn’t care about the way he’s shattering Alec’s heart; he only draws _Clary_ to himself further, letting _her_ lips drown his laughter.

When Jace breaks away, the new sound is even worse. “You really think you could ever be in _her_ place?”

Alec feels small, as if his long legs had just been swallowed into the ground. “No, of course not.”

Alec wakes up with a start. Jace’s head laying on his shoulder is the first thing he sees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> continuation [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12236898/chapters/28799841)


	20. What did we just do?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I needed this after the last ones XD for @darqueparabatai on tumblr

“What did we just  _do_?”

“Hmmm…have sex?”

“Yes, thank you, I knew that.   _Why_  did we do that?”

“Because we wanted to?”

“I knew that, too! I mean, we just broke the law…very  _willingly_ … _how_  could we do that? We must be very,  _very_ stupid.”

“I never meant to imply otherwise.”

“Do you think we’re doomed?”

“Maybe.”

…

“So, you regret it?”

“Of course not,  _stupid_.”

“Then what are we gonna do?”

“I may have a few ideas.”

“Yeah? What is that?”

“First, you kiss me…then we’ll go from there.”

“Mmmh. It’s not one of your worst ideas.”


	21. I know you cared, just not enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of ["You are not needed here"](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12236898/chapters/28797552), 500 words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I _hope_ that you got your angst fill now, @MorganD

Jace wakes up after a while, and he must immediately sense Alec’s unease, because he raises his head to look at Alec.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

Alec tries to even his breathing before responding, “Nothing, just...”

“Don’t try that with me, Alec.”

Alec sighs loudly, rubbing his eyes with his free hand. The other one is stuck on Jace’s back, grounding him. “I just had a nightmare, that’s all.”

Jace shuffles to better face him. “What was it about?” Alec stays silent for so long that Jace has to nudge him. “C’mon, it’s _me_. You know you can tell me anything.”

“I _know_ , it’s just that it was…about _you_.”

Jace frowns. “Was I hurt? Did I die or something? Cause if so, I’m alr-”

“No, it wasn’t that.” Alec sits up, suddenly unable to look Jace in the eye.  “You were holding...Clary. You told me that I wasn’t needed and that I could never take her place. You laughed, and then you kissed her, and-”

“Hey, hey, _woah_. What spurred this on?” Jace sits up then, starting to rub Alec’s tense shoulder.

Alec huffs. “I don’t know, okay? I know it’s stupid, it’s just…”

“ _Hey_ , you know that I love you, right? Even when I was with _her_ , I _loved_ you, I cared about you more than anything, and I would’ve _never_ acted like that or said something like...”

“I _know_ you cared, just not enough to not _do_ that. Because you did…” Alec glances at Jace before averting his eyes again. “You _did_ say you didn’t need me and then you went to help Clary on your own.”

It _is_ stupid, and Alec really _doesn’t_ know why he’s thinking about that _now_ , after all the years that had passed since, especially considering that him and Jace have been happy together for longer than he ever was with Clary.

But, apparently, the past still has the ability to sting for far longer than it lasted.

“I made a mistake, _once_ , I – I’m sorry that it still hurts you, but I don’t know what I can do more to _prove_ -”

“ _No_ , no.” Horrified, Alec turns around and tackle-hugs Jace into the mattress. “This is _not_ on you, it's just my own shit, hard to die and all that.”

“But-”

“I _swear_ , it’s the truth.”

Alec starts laying kisses all over Jace’s face, until the latter can’t help but giggle.

“Fine _, fine_. I’m glad you told me about it, though. I wouldn’t want for such things to fester between us, if left unsaid.”

“Yeah, I’m glad I told you, too. I feel much better now.”

And he plants a real kiss on Jace’s mouth, smiling into it until Jace deepens it, circling him with his arms so that Alec can lay on top of him.

“Do you, I don’t know, want me to kiss you in front of Clary, or something?”

Alec opens his eyes, then rolls them at seeing Jace’s smirk. “Mmmh… _maybe_.”

He drowns Jace’s laughter in another kiss.


	22. If you love me, don't make me say goodbye and don't make me stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst, Double drabble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For @fishcollective :)

"If you love me,” Jace said, his voice about to give in, “don't make me say goodbye and don't make me stay."

When silence fell, and Jace thought he had studied Alec’s face enough (no, it would _never_ be enough) to last him a lifetime, he got up. For once, Alec would thankfully do as he was told. Jace turned around, about to go away, forever, without saying goodbye. He wouldn’t survive a goodbye.

A hand wrapped itself tightly around his wrist. Jace closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. _Damn it, Alec_. He wouldn’t be able to leave him now, he wouldn’t have the strength to get out of that hold, because he didn’t _want_ to. Letting his frustration rise, Jace turned around in a fluid motion, about to tell Alec _exactly_ what…

He only found two lips pressing desperately, hotly against his, and… _damn it, Alec!_

“If _I_ love you, I will keep you forever.” Alec’s whisper could’ve sliced mountains with its sharpness, and force. “If _you_ love me, you won’t let me go.”

Jace’s breath came out in puffs, as it mingled with Alec’s, and…

“Damn you, Alec.” Jace kissed him again, and again. “Then we run.”


	23. Is there a reason you're naked in my bed?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff

“Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?”

Alec’s rather high-pitched voice echoed in the room, while Jace looked up at him from the bed completely nonchalantly.

“ _My_ bed is all bloody, and I didn’t wanna clean it up,” he simply explained.

Alec kept staring anywhere but at Jace. “Okay...but why _naked_?”

He could almost _hear_ Jace’s shrugging. “I always sleep naked. Why, do you mind?”

Alec counted mentally to ten, then to twenty, as his eyes fixed on a speck of dust on the floor.

 _What...the hell?_ was the sole thought in his mind.

But he couldn’t stay frozen forever. Alec glanced up again...and he startled, as he took in the sight of Jace standing right in front of him.

In all his naked glory.

Alec reflexively took a step back. “Uh, no, of course, why would I...?”

Jace started laughing. Alec suddenly wished the floor would swallow him.

“C’mon, Alec! I’m just _messing_ with you.”

Alec blinked. “ _What_?”

Jace rolled his eyes, before covering the rest of the distance and pulling Alec down for a kiss.

Alec’s brain turned to mush, as he kissed Jace _back_. His lips kept being parted even after they broke apart.

“Since you wouldn’t decide on making a move, I just had to act, don’t you think?” Jace whispered raucously.

Alec opened and closed his mouth repeatedly. “...Yeah.”

Alec crushed his lips against Jace’s and pushed Jace on the bed, falling on top of him, in the next second.

 


	24. Don’t you ‘babe’ me! I know what you did!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst, sometime post-S2 finale, 250 words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For @kimmyhunter on tumblr, hope you like it! :)

Jace entered the office whistling a cheerful tune. Alec felt even more  _outraged_  by that boldness, glaring at his parabatai in the hope he’d leave scorch marks on his jolly face.

“Morning, babe,” Jace greeted him, his teeth shining as he smiled.

“Don’t you ‘babe’ me!” Alec growled. “I know what you did!”

Jace put his arms in front of himself. “What? I haven’t done anything! Or I bet it was Izzy anyway!”

Alec rose from his chair, banging his hands on the desk. “Izzy was the one who threw herself,  _alone_ , at an  _entire_  hoard of raveners?! Don’t think you can fool me by cleaning up your wounds! I woke up in the middle of the night  _feeling_  you were hurt, nobody answered my calls, so I  _waited_  for you, but you didn’t even have the decency to come to me!”

No demon could ever hurt Jace as much as knowing  _he_  had hurt Alec did. Jace rapidly covered the entire room, pulling Alec into his arms. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I know I was reckless...”

“When I tell you to be careful, why don’t you ever  _listen_  to me?” Alec whispered brokenly into his ear.

Jace forced him to raise his head to look him in the eyes. “I know, okay? But I’m here, I’m  _here_.”

Alec surged forward, kissing him with a desperation that Jace could taste on his tongue. Before they ended up hugging each other even more tightly.

Some wounds would truly never quite heal.  


	25. I wish I could remember. I wish I could forget.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Triple drabble, triple Angst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the meanest person in the world, @fishcollective. Hope you drown in the tears :P

“I wish I could remember,” Alec said in a small voice.

He didn’t want to remind Jace of their _situation_ , and hurt him even more as a result, but his words were only true. He wished more than _anything_ that he could remember... _Jace_.

Alec had tied his _soul_ to this man, making him his _parabatai!_ Izzy had also secretly told him that he had been in _love_ with Jace...deeply, _madly_ in love with him.

So Alec’s heart and soul could only _bleed_ , as his mind tried and _tried_ to reach memories it could not find.

“I wish I could forget,” Jace admitted, a _crack_ in his voice that hit Alec so _profoundly_ that a tear fell from his eye, which he covertly tried to blink away.

But Jace had already closed his eyes, and Alec also bled for _him_. If _he_ was hurting, it was probably nothing compared to what _Jace_ must’ve been feeling; even just  _looking_ at the man who was supposed to be the closest person to him, but was _not_ anymore, ought to have been _torture_.

“I swear, if I could, I’d do anything,  _anything_...”

Alec’s voice died in his throat, and Jace looked at him with eyes so soft, so loving...Alec could almost understand what he had seen in him.

“Don’t, Alec, it wasn’t your fault. All that matters is that you’re _alright_. I don’t need anything else,” Jace told him. His voice didn’t crack again.

But Alec  _knew_ that he was lying. He needed to do something. “I know I’m not _him_ , but...would you mind getting to know _me_ , too?”

He might not remember, but Jace was _important_ to him. Alec had felt it even _before_ people had told him anything. He couldn’t lose him.

Jace mustered a broken smile. “Always.”


	26. Picking up at the airport after a really long time apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU, Fluff, 400 words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For @fishcollective, you mind reader ;)

Four. Fucking. Months. That was the time he had spent at college...but the semester was finally _over_.

Landing, getting off the plane, retrieving his bags, all passed in the blink of an eye. Jace had to stop himself from _running_ the entire way to the exit.

As soon as he saw _him,_ however _,_ Jace threw all restrain out of the window. Taller than the crowd surrounding him, Alec stood a mere few feet in front of him, a dopey smile opening on his face as soon as their eyes met, and Jace rushed towards him before he could think about it.

Unceremoniously dropping his bags on the floor, Jace _jumped_ on his boyfriend, who caught him in his arms, twirling him around, as their laughter rang in the air.

“Welcome home,” Alec said, putting him down.

Jace took his face in his hands, admiring the fact that it was so close to him that he could _touch_ it. And had Alec become even more handsome? Jace wouldn’t be surprised. So he smiled up at his handsome boyfriend, and kissed him in lieu of greeting, until both of them were moaning against each other’s mouths.

Alec wisely broke apart. “Let’s get out of here,” he whispered conspiratorially.

Jace’s smile wouldn’t go away. “Yeah.”

They had barely reached the apartment Alec shared with Izzy, and made sure Izzy wasn’t there, before Alec slammed him against the front door, shutting it closed, as he captured Jace’s lips in a kiss that made Jace pant against Alec’s mouth.

“I missed you so damn much,” Alec said almost in a growl.

“Me too, I love you,” were Jace’s last words before he dragged Alec towards the bedroom.

It was barely noon, but it was dark by the time they finally collapsed on the bed. God, had sex ever been so good? Four fucking _months_.

They were still breathing heavily, and Alec’s chest rose and fell fast under him, as Jace laid half on top of him.  

Until Alec started chuckling.

“What?” Jace asked, opening one eye.

“Izzy teased me that we would spend the entire day banging, and I really thought she was wrong, that we would do other things first, like talk and stuff...”

Jace laughed. “Oh, innocent you. We talked every day, you can bet I’d rather bang you...”

They were still laughing when their lips met, and it was on again...


	27. Why are your feet so cold?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff, 150 words

He could sleep on his own. He _could_. He was an adult, a _warrior_ , an independent person. He didn't need his lover to hold him through the night. It was nice, sure, but he could live one night without it, especially since it was a necessary precaution to not arouse suspicions.  
  
He'd sleep just _fine_.  
  
So when his door creaked open, Jace would fiercely deny ever drawing a sigh of relief. And when Alec slipped into bed with him, wrapping his arms around him from behind, Jace _had_ to mask the fact that he was melting inside.  
  
"Why are your feet so _cold?_ _"_ he complained in a forceful whisper.  
  
Alec simply tangled their feet together, placing a kiss on the back of Jace's neck, which sent shivers down Jace's spine.

"I missed you too, love."  
  
Jace fell asleep with a smile on his face, and warmth spreading all throughout him.


	28. Showing up dressed ONLY in a big ribbon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff, Explicit, 300 words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, have a rather NSFW Christmas ;)

Alec was out of breath, as he rushed towards Jace’s room in a panic.

“I’m here! I made it! Jace, what’s the emergen-”

Alec’s voice died, probably somewhere inside the ribbon wrapped low around Jace’s waist...the only thing wrapping Jace’s entire _body_.

Jace was leaning casually against the bathroom’s doorframe. “Yes, thank you for making it, oh my brave parabatai. The emergency is...”

Jace walked slowly, painfully slowly towards the frozen statue that was Alec, whose only motion was gulping very loudly.

Jace spoke again, throatily, only a few breaths away from Alec’s mouth, “ _Merry Christmas_.” Jace’s hands were already on his chest, stripping him of his jacket, then making their way through all the buttons of his shirt... “Would you like to unwrap your present?”

Alec unfroze. His hands shot up to his own waist, quickly unbuckling the belt, as his feet divested themselves of the shoes. His shirt was on the floor and Jace’s mouth was teasing his nipple, by the time Alec finally slid down pants and underwear in one swift move, kicking them aside, and he was _free_.

He grabbed Jace’s hips and pushed him so quickly towards the bed that Jace bounced when he landed on it, laughing. The sound, however, ended as soon as Alec straddled Jace’s legs and brought his hands to the big red ribbon covering Jace’s crotch. Not that it could _really_ cover his very prominent erection.

“Yes, I would very much like that,” Alec answered in a breathy tone.

Jace swallowed visibly as he watched, hypnotized, as Alec unwrapped the ribbon, slipped it off him with a swishing sound, throwed it somewhere behind him, and leaned down.

Jace let out a sound between a hiss and a moan as Alec’s tongue started tracing his entire length.

Merry Christmas, indeed.


	29. I'm not wearing any underwear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff, Mild, 250 words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The drabble is now in a separate fic, ['All Is Fair in Love and War...'](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13401615/chapters/30701637).

A finger tapping his knee insistently, Alec was straining himself from mentally counting the _seconds_. By the Angel, Clave’s meetings sure were boring. Not a very Head-of-Institute thing to say…but it was only the hard _truth_.  

Still, when Jace placed a hand on his other leg, starting to caress his thigh, Alec snapped under his breath, “ _Jace_ , we’re at an important meeting.”

“So what?” Jace retorted. His hand was traveling dangerously close to Alec’s _inner_ thigh, and Alec had to bite his lips.

“ _Please_ , Jace,” he basically _whined_.

But Jace didn’t give any sign of hearing his plea, so Alec grabbed Jace’s wrist and forced the hand away.

There, they weren’t going to _do_ this.

Jace leaned closer to him, though, whispering into his ear, “Rude. I thought you might’ve been interested to know that I’m not wearing any underwear...”

Alec had to close his eyes for a second, forcing himself to keep his breathing even. Jace leaned away, and he didn’t say anything more. Alec reopened his eyes, staring straight ahead, determined not to…

Alec’s hand acted on its own volition. Alec _surely_ wasn’t piloting it as it placed itself over Jace’s thigh, slowly inching closer and closer to the waistband of Jace’s pants…

Jace swatted his hand away. “ _Alec_ , we’re in the middle of an important meeting. Behave yourself.”

Alec’s mouth fell open as he glanced at Jace, and he could’ve _punched_ that shit-eating grin away from Jace’s face. Fucking tease. He was _so_ paying for that.


	30. Payment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Explicit, continuation from [here](30202779), 270 words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't not do a continuation of the previous drabble 'I'm not wearing any underwear' ;). 
> 
> Edit: Both drabbles are now in a separate fic, ['All Is Fair in Love and War...'](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13401615/chapters/30701637), which is being continued...

As soon as they went back home, and they happened to be walking the same corridor alone, Alec _pounced_.

His mouth on Jace’s, his hands in Jace’s hair, Alec slammed his incorrigible parabatai against a wall. “You. Fucking. Tease,” Alec growled between hungry kisses.

Jace clearly wanted to laugh, but Alec’s relentless attack didn’t make it easy for him. “Mmmh. Don’t pretend…you didn’t…like it…”

“I’ll show you how much I liked it.”

After unbuttoning Jace’s pants, Alec unceremoniously shoved a hand inside to wrap it around Jace’s half-hard cock. At least he hadn’t been lying about the underwear.

“ _Here_?” Jace managed to croak, as Alec pumped him furiously.

They _were_ in the middle of a corridor, but at that hour it was usually deserted; Alec knew the Institute’s patterns inside and out, after all.

“Don’t make a sound,” Alec warned anyway.

Their eyes were glued on each other as Alec’s hand slid up and down Jace’s cock, the other having slipped inside Jace’s pants on the other side to go tease his entrance. Jace was biting hard on his lower lip, yet Alec had to continually send him sterns look whenever he heard a whimper coming from him.

“Alec, please, I’m…” Jace was rutting against Alec’s hands and fingers at this point, chasing wildly against his completion…

Alec removed his hands, before wiping them on Jace’s pants. “See you later. I’ve got work to do.”

A sound like the one of a turkey being strangled was the only thing to be heard, as Alec walked away with what could only be called an evil grin on his face.


	31. Whose blood is that?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst, 150 words.

"Whose blood is that?" Alec asked quietly, almost hesitantly.

Jace raised his eyes from his bloodied hands. “Not mine, don’t worry.”

Alec nodded somewhat stiffly. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“What about, exactly?” Jace frowned as he got up from his bed. “It’s in our job description.”

“Not when it’s been hours, and you still haven’t washed it.”

Jace quickly averted his eyes. He had _literally_ been caught red-handed. “I was just tired.”

Alec took a few steps forward, until he was close enough to Jace to be able to gently hold his wrists. “Do you accept my help?”

A corner of Jace’s mouth twitched. “Since when do you have to ask, parabatai?”

Alec shrugged.

Jace smiled fully now. “Silly man. The blood that I shed is yours too, isn’t it?”

Alec moved his hands from Jace’s wrists to Jace’s hands, smearing himself with the not-quite-dried blood. “Yes.”


	32. Each of their blind dates stood them up, but hey, let's make the best of it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff, AU, 250 words

Jace huffed in frustration. _He_ was being stood up? The nerve of some people…

Okay, he was being a little too salty. It _was_ anyone’s prerogative to _not_ do something.

 _Fine_ , then. Jace looked around the restaurant, hoping to catch the attention of one of the waiters.

Instead, his eyes fell on something far more interesting. A guy, probably around his age, dark haired, very broad-shouldered. He looked to be at a loss, seating in a chair a little too small for him, his eyes constantly darting towards the entrance, surely waiting for someone.

Well, it couldn’t be said that Jace liked to lose opportunities, especially if one landed right in his lap. He didn’t have a precise idea, and the most likely scenario was getting water thrown at his face…still, Jace got up and approached the other table.

“I couldn’t help but notice a lost soul like me. I don’t mean to intrude, but I got stood up, and I wouldn’t mind company…should I get back to my table?”

The guy’s eyes had widened considerably during Jace’s entire tirade, and at the end his mouth was hanging open. The silence lasted so long that Jace was about to do his walk of shame.

“Sure, I’d like that,” the guy finally said. “I’m Alec.”

It was Jace’s turn to be a little shocked; it took him a second to look past Alec’s shy yet gorgeous smile, and take Alec’s proffered hand. “Jace.” He could only return the smile.


	33. Tracing lips after a kiss in amazement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff

Alec quite liked the daze after a kiss. The world outside was always a little foggier, and all he could feel was himself and the other person who had _made_ him feel this way. Alec opened his eyes, and being met with Jace’s colorful irises made it all even better. Alec was cupping Jace’s face, and his thumb couldn’t help but trace the very bright pink skin of Jace’s lips. Lips _he_ had just kissed, who were now stretched in a wide, equally dazed smile.

Alec couldn’t resist, and he kissed them again. Oh, to be lost like this forever.


	34. I think it’s about time we stop avoiding the obvious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff, 150 words

“I think it’s about time we stop avoiding the obvious.”

“Oh yeah? Which is…?”

“You’re in love with me.”

“Wow. You came to that conclusion all by yourself?

“It kinda became impossible to unsee.”

“ _What_ exactly gave it away? Was it the fact that we’re married? Or that we’re naked in bed?”

“Nope. It’s that you’re indulging my drunken nonsense.”

“Actually, my patience is about to run _out_ , Mr. Lightwood.”

“I don’t _think_ so, Mr. Lightwood. Another sign that you love me? You always say that, yet you never run out of patience with me.”

“…Shut _up_ , you’re drunk.”

“You can’t get rid of me!”

“ _That_ hadn’t crossed my mind, but now that I think about it…”

Throwing away all pretenses, Jace burst out laughing, tackling Alec in all his drunken eagerness.

“Not a chance,” he whispered against Alec’s lips, before kissing them.

“Your breath’s terrible.”

“I love you, too.”


	35. Sparks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff, 280 words

Jace had always scoffed at the concept of _soulmates_. How was it possible that of _all_ that existed in the world, one person and one person alone was ‘destined’ to be just right for him? Nah, Jace was a realist, and he wouldn’t fall for such sentimental, delusional crap.

The concept of _love_ was also one he resented, because, as his father would say, it only made someone _weak_. Why would he seek _that_?

Yet, when Alec Lightwood entered his life, Jace was slightly inclined to change his mind. Alec fit just right with him, _they_ were a team one of a kind…

It still did not mean that they were _soulmates,_ or that their connection was any common thing such as _love_ , he concluded. No, _parabatai_ were something far above either of those concepts. It wasn’t a _concept_ , for one. It was a _choice_. Jace _chose_ to bind his soul to Alec’s.

Yet, when Jace happened to fall into a strangely colored portal, getting lost…nowhere, or rather _everywhere_ , it was hard to miss the fact that _every_ Jace in every different universe he encountered chose his own Alec. It was truly uncanny how they always seemed to find each other, and, from there, they simply _clicked_.

Right then, for example, in front of Jace’s eyes his alternate self, who was casually shopping in a drug store, was on the road of collision with an equally clueless Alec.

When they both reached for the same item, and first their hands, then their eyes met, and the same sparks Jace had come to recognize _flew_ between them, Jace _knew_. He had been wrong; Alec Lightwood might just be his soulmate.


	36. Quickie in the woods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff, M, 150 words

“That was _very_ unprofessional,” Alec – slumped down on a bed of leaves, zipping his fly back up – felt the need to said.

Jace chuckled, resting his head against Alec’s shoulder. “C’mon, we killed the demon, mission’s over, we deserve a little downtime…”

Jace leaned forward, and Alec fell easily into the kiss, humming contentedly as Jace slipped his tongue inside his mouth. And when Jace’s knee pressed between his legs, a hiss inevitably escaped from Alec’s lips.  

“What, already up for a second go?” Jace teased as he nibbled on Alec’s ear. One of his hands was traveling downtown, until it reached Alec’s pants and unzipped the fly all over again.

“You’re the worst,” Alec growled. But it wasn’t as if he could deny that, when Jace’s hand dived inside his pants, he was already half-hard.

“You love me,” Jace replied with a grin, and Alec also couldn’t deny that.


	37. Getting ready for date night, but never making it out of the house

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff

Breaking off the kiss, Jace smiled. “Not that I don’t appreciate this, but aren’t we running late?”

In lieu of an answer, Alec crushed their lips together again. No, not _crushed_. Alec was being incredibly sweet, his lips practically making _love_ to Jace’s.  

Humming softly, his fingers tangling in Alec’s hair, Jace had to ask, “Is something wrong?”

“No, I just…why do we have to go outside to spend some time together? I want to hold you right here.”

“Mhm, a cheesy mood, I see.” Jace responded to Alec’s chuckle with a grin. “Well, I might just like it.”


	38. Stay on the phone with me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff, 230 words

“So yeah, I should be back tomorrow. You sure everything is alright over there?” Alec had to ask. He could already picture the eye-roll that must’ve been happening at the other end of the line.

“ _Yes_ , your Institute has not collapsed…yet,” Jace pointedly told him. “It’s in half-decent hands, you know.”

“ _Our_ Institute,” Alec corrected, “and your hands are definitely more than _half-decent_ , Jace…”

A surprising silence followed. Alec was frowning when he finally heard Jace’s voice again, clearly teasing, “Alec _Lightwood_ , are you _flirting_ with me?”

And Alec realized what he had just said. “No! I just mean, you shouldn’t sell yourself shor-” Alec stopped himself in time, but Jace was already laughing helplessly by then.

“You are _so_ adorable,” Jace said in-between fits of laughter.

“Shut up,” Alec rebutted, feeling kinda hot in the face, “you’re the one warping my words, you little…”

But he burst out laughing, too, so hard that his stomach hurt. When they calmed down, however, Alec only felt light and warm, the smile not leaving his face.

“Hey, Jace?” Alec said.

“Yeah?”

“Stay on the phone with me?”

“I already am.”

“I mean, a while longer…”

“Sure. What for?”

Alec bit his lips. “You know, I’m in bed, alone, and it was kind of a tiring day…”

“Alec Lightwood…you _are_ flirting with me!”

Alec chuckled. “Maybe…”

“Oh, I see. Go on…”


	39. "Straight" friends who haven't seen each other in years run into each other at a gay club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff, AU, 300 words

When he had agreed to go with Izzy at a gay bar, the last person Alec would’ve expected to see there was his very hot, very _straight_ crush from his high school days.

Seriously… _Jace_ , of all people? _The_ Jace he had been hopelessly in love with for years? The same one he had drifted apart from after they had both started college in different states? Alec still remembered how much he had felt like a kicked, abandoned dog, when he had realized he probably would’ve never seen Jace again…

“ _Alec_? Is that you?” the vision spoke to him.

It appeared to be really _him_ , though. And Alec didn’t know whether feeling relieved and happy…or weary and cautious. He never wanted to feel like he had back then ever again. He couldn’t allow Jace to have that much power over him, now, could he…?

“Hey, yes, it _is_ me,” Alec heard his own voice saying. Damn it. “And _you_ , Jace, how long _has_ it been? How’ve you been?”

Jace smiled and walked up to him, leaving behind a bunch of who were most likely his friends. “Oh, you know. Let’s just say I’ve _been_. What about you? But wait, would you like a drink?”

Jace pointed at the bar, and Alec opened his mouth, still unsure what to say…after all, Jace being at a gay bar didn’t mean _he_ was…

“You know what, I really missed you, Alec,” Jace suddenly added, placing a hand over Alec’s arm. Needlessly to say, Alec could already feel the goosebumps. “What _happened_ to us? You were always my favorite person…”

Alec forcefully shrugged. “Just…life, I guess.”

Jace seemed pensive. “You’re right. Fuck life, to be honest. Alec Lightwood, please, get this drink with me.”

And how could Alec ever say no?


	40. Hi stranger, can you please pretend to be my boyfriend for a minute to get rid of this creep?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff, AU, 350 words

Oh no, she was back in action. Alec was running out of ways to make her understand he wasn't _interested_. What more could he do? He had literally spelled out to her that he wasn't into girls...

He needed a new strategy. And it was a testament to how desperate he was that, when he thought of the most inane idea, he followed through with it.

At the other end of the coffee shop - his favorite, so like _hell_ he was going to lose it to a stalker - there was the hottest guy Alec had ever seen. He walked up to him.

“Hi. I'm sorry, I wouldn't do this if I wasn't desperate, but...can you please pretend to be my boyfriend for a minute, so that this girl leaves me alone?”

Had he gone _mad_? Now that he had said it out loud, the plan sounded even _worse_. God, what if this guy was homophobic? What if he started a scene in front of everyone?

Alec was about to hyperventilate, or to hastily make his escape, when the guy, after a glance at the girl Alec had pointed at, started laughing. 

“Oh my god, of course! Come here, sit close to me,” the guy said, scooting over to make room for Alec.

Feeling as if he was having an out of body experience, Alec sat down next to him. 

“I'm Jace, by the way,” the guy whispered in what could only be called a conspiratorial tone, “I figure you should know that.” 

“Alec,” Alec mumbled back. 

“Do you know the most effective way to get out of this kind of situations?” Jace asked him cheerfully.

Alec shook his head.  

Jace's hand, from its place on the table, went up to cup Alec's face. And Alec suddenly noticed that Jace's eyes were two different colors. They were staring right into Alec's own, clearly looking for an answer to a silent question.

Alec felt tongue-tied. He nodded.

It had surely been an inane plan, but when Jace's lips found his, Alec’s only thought was that he owed the girl a drink. 


	41. Super long kiss that wasn't intended

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff, 370 words

It was always a good day whenever Alec heard Jace play the piano. Maybe it wasn’t exactly one for _Jace_ , since the emotions spilling out of his impromptu performances never seemed to be _nice_ , yet it still was _something_ that Jace wasn’t keeping them in for a change, but instead had chosen to let them out in such a… _beautiful_ way. And Alec always felt compelled to stand outside of the room, his eyes closed to better take it all in. Not that he _needed_ to hear Jace play to know what he was feeling; it was just that oftentimes it wasn’t a cathartic experience only for his parabatai. They were entwined body and soul, after all.

The music suddenly stopped.

“Alec, come in, I know you’re out there,” came Jace’s voice instead.

Alec chuckled under his breath. He had been busted. Seeing no reason to hide it, he opened the door and smiled somewhat bashfully at his parabatai. “Sorry.”

Jace shook his head, a fond smile making his face look softer. He tapped the seat beside him.

Trepidation drumming in his chest, Alec sat down, feeling warmth spreading all over him as his body came in contact with Jace’s.

“What do you want me to play?” Jace simply asked him.

“My favorite?” Alec suggested.

Jace’s smile brightened. “Okay.”

It was always the best of days, whenever the two of them sat together at the piano, Jace’s fingers flying gracefully over the keyboard, playing for Alec and Alec alone. If he was ever asked to describe his idea of heaven, Alec thought, that was what he would picture. A place where only he, Jace and music existed.

When the song ended, Alec couldn’t resist, and he pressed a quick kiss to Jace’s lips as a thank you.

But Jace didn’t let him get away. His arms circled Alec’s neck, and he deepened the kiss. It wasn’t the most urgent or passionate of kisses; their mouths moved slow, in synch, creating a music of their own that reverberated deep in their shared soul. Alec stood corrected; that was what resembled his idea of heaven the most.

And they might have kissed many times, but the piano always made it even better.


	42. Somewhere deep inside me, I still have hope that you’ll fall in love with me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst, 500 words

They should've known it was a trap. Actually, they _had_ known, yet the result couldn’t have been avoided. And there they were now, trapped in the depths of the Seelie Realm, the oxygen in the air slowly being sucked away by deadly plants, as was the Queen’s will.

They couldn’t very well _give up_ , but they still found themselves on the ground, slumped against a tree, drained of all their energy. At some point, Jace’s head had ended up on Alec's shoulder. 

After a coughing fit finished to rattle him, Jace managed to croak, "I wouldn’t have thought this to be the way I die…the way we both die.”

The arm that was circling him - Jace couldn’t tell when that had happened either - tightened its hold, as Alec made a tired sound. "We're not going to die," he stated with more bite than Jace would’ve thought possible.

And everything hurt as Jace raised his head to look at Alec, only to see that Alec had his eyes closed, seemingly peaceful, if Jace hadn’t known the truth. "Since when are you such an optimist?" Jace quipped.

"I'm not," Alec slurred, his head falling slightly to the side.

"Hey, Alec, stay with me, stay with me." His heart quickening its pace, which also hurt, Jace had to force himself upright, so that he could grab Alec's face and turn it towards him. "Don't fall asleep."

Alec opened his eyes, eyelashes fluttering weakly. "I'm not going to,” he assured. “And we can't die yet. Not yet."

Jace frowned. He would have wanted to say _of course not_ , but the tone in which Alec had spoken seemed to hint at a hidden, _specific_ reason why they shouldn’t have died. "And why can’t we die?" he asked.

Jace hadn’t expected Alec to suddenly have a hardened, piercing glint in his eyes, nor to answer slowly, but fiercely, "Because...somewhere deep inside me, I still have hope that you'll fall in love with me." 

It was clearly the rarefied air that made him talk like that. Still, Jace couldn’t help the sharp intake of breath he took, nor the way his stomach clenched. “Alec…”

"I'm serious, I know what I’m saying," Alec retaliated, as if predicting Jace’s counterargument. One of his hands had come up to cup Jace's face, and his fingers trembled as they caressed Jace’s skin; yet, Alec seemed determined to not let go. 

"Oh, Alec," Jace breathed, having to swallow hard, his lower lip wobbling, before he could let the next words out, "that's already happened a _long_ time ago."

And Jace should’ve _done_ this a long time ago. Leaning forward, he let himself and Alec share the same air, before he dived in further. Alec's lips were everything he had never allowed himself to desire. The kiss was urgent, the sense of doom surrounding them their only fuel. No, _that_ wasn’t their only fuel.

“You’re right,” Jace whispered. “We can’t die just yet. We have a lot to make up for.”


	43. Your decisions don't only affect you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst, 200 words

“Your decisions don’t only affect you!”

“I know! That’s why I was trying to _protect_ you!”

Alec tried and failed to remember a time he had been angrier. Jace _dared_ to say that keeping him in the dark had been to protect him?!

“And how is _that_? You were planning on going all our lives hiding that you _died_? How does that _protect_ me?”

Jace spoke through gritted teeth, “ _Nobody_ comes back to life, and when they do, things always end up badly! I couldn’t risk you getting caught up in my…explosion.” Jace’s eyes were clouded by endless sleepless nights and a torment that had wrecked Alec’s own mind and soul, but there was steel to be seen there too. “I _can’t_ risk you.”

Alec’s face was set in stone as he took a few strides forward, Jace’s hopelessness further proved by the fact that he seemed ready to receive any outcome, even violence, without opposing resistance. That made Alec even angrier; he grabbed Jace’s arms, firm but gentle. “You _fool_. When will you stop forgetting that we’re in this together? I go where you go, I bleed when you bleed…and nothing you do will ever change that.”


End file.
